My echo chamber
An installation of moments and words that piss me off
None of this makes sense. I’m confused why I’m a disease and the cure.
I realized through Ben, I relived my first experience with hate and not being able to defend myself. My dad relived the shock and anger after learning his daughter was getting harmed in school, a supposedly safe space, through his wife, Sulin. We will continue reliving these moments, and I’m enraged by that fact.
The polaroid was the first time I was immersed in drawing. My daycare teacher was happy to see me do an activity. It was so unfair.
Instead of gathering pieces that make a stereotypical Chinese painting, I paint one. I get sick, too, when contacted by yellow fever.
If there is no safe space for me, then I’ll make one. You can come in, but you have to follow my rules.
What would bring joy to this child?
This is the last painting I made at UML. That night I was kicked out of the family that let me live in MA. The same night UML announced that they’re moving classes to Zoom and kicking out students from the dorms due to COVID. I stayed up all-night painting on the last day I had 24-hour access to the studios. I waited for my appeal to stay in dorm housing to be approved while watching my friends move out.
I was often homesick living in the dorm. I missed making the dough and failing to fold the pleats with dad. Even though my dumplings were ugly compared to his, he always ate them.
Me currently small and incomplete vs What I strive to be
I was in a cult from age 9 to 15. Since then, I haven’t contacted them, but they haven’t given up on me. The first time they tried to talk with me after enrolling in college was through a letter sent to my dorm and getting close with my relatives living in MA. I was distressed, so I ripped up the Bible gifted by my bible teacher. I picked out verses that pointed out their lies and hypocrisy, teachings that forced me to stay in the closet, and teachings that caused panic about The End. They don’t celebrate birthdays, so I thought it would be funny to make a birthday cake if I ever decide to send this unorthodox resignation letter.
